Daily Journaling, Mark Twain, and Owning Your Inner Awesome

 

Did you know that Mark Twain tried and failed to keep a daily journal? 

Inspired by and enjoying "Mark Twain's Notebooks"

    From the tone of his very own writing on the topic, it sounds like Mark Twain tried more than once to keep a daily journal, before accepting that it just wasn't gonna happen. 

At certain periods it becomes the dearest ambition of a man to keep a faithful record of his performances in a book; and he dashes at this work with an enthusiasm that imposes on him the notion that keeping a journal is the veriest pastime in the world, and the pleasantest,"

    Sound familiar? This was definitely me as a child. (Dear Diary) And as a teen. (Hello Blogosphere) And as a young adult. (Bullet Journal!)  Maybe I realized, as he did, that some people are too distracted, too inspired, too passionate about learning, and writing. And living. And laughing. Too excited about all these things and more to keep track of it all. But when I read his words tonight, his classically beautiful, old-timey elegant writing on the subject of journaling, WOW, I felt seen. And validated. And proud. I have no doubt these next words of wisdom also come from personal experience,

"But if he only lives twenty-one days, he will find out that only those rare natures that are made up of pluck, endurance, devotion to duty for duty's sake, and invincible determination, may hope to venture upon so tremendous an enterprise as the keeping of a journal and not sustain a shameful defeat."

 Long story short, if you were very determined and excited about keeping a daily journal! For about a week... Well, then you're in great company. I mean WOW, Mark Twain! One of the great American authors. Famous for "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" and so much more. If HE struggled with keeping a journal, well then there's definitely hope for me!

  The ashamed perfectionist in me feels so validated, so grateful to learn that it's not any personal failing of mine that caused/causes the collection of beautifully bound, sparsely used journals to grow and grow and grow. I just haven't yet found the courage to say my own version of Mark Twain's mic drop (but since we're here I'll give it a try):

F it. Journals are great and I very much love the joy of a brand new beginning - but a whole year? Nah, no way. I've got too much awesomeness in me to stress over my hot mess of a style, to fuss over a perceived failure from an unrealistic expectation that I set FOR MYSELF. It's not even any one else telling me that I'm not good enough, it's freaking me! I am way too talented, too creative, and too full of ideas for a daily diary. Notebooks though, yeah those are my jam. Letters and observations, wit, wisdom, and doodles, THOSE I can do, and do. So to any future biographers who might wish I had been more organized... it is what it is. Good luck. And however much you find, is enough. Even if you're not even looking, that too is enough. Because for me to pour these words out, whether anyone reads them or not, that makes my writer's heart happy. And that's not nothing. 

If you want to feel seen, start by seeing yourself. Believe in yourself. And sure, be on the lookout for those "we should be friends" soul connections. Because at the end of the day, the best way to work, and play, is to see yourself, to be yourself, and to own all the perfect imperfections that make you one of a kind. 

 Thanks for reading, for resonating, for recommending.

xoxo, Gali Rosas

Decisions, Decisions, and How to Conquer Mom Guilt

         I am not a "bad mom" for deciding NOT to make my kids pancakes before daycare today. I am NOT a bad mom for choosing to put away laundry so I can maybe sometimes find weather-appropriate clothes, or choosing to sweep the floor because its been a while, and we have guests tonight. 

        I am not a "bad mom" for waking them up at the same time on commute-downtown days and work-from-home days, so that I can have a little bit of quiet time. I am NOT a bad mom for all those decisions and more, and neither are you. 

        There are only 24 hours in each day, 1440 minutes, and we need to decide over and over which task to do next, out of an impossible list of "shoulds". When we choose to clean, and when we don't, when we scroll for 2 hours (oops did I really just do that?!), when we choose to get down on the floor and play, or park them in front of the TV and take time away, that doesn't make us "bad" or wrong. In fact, worrying that we're bad moms is one of the biggest indicators that we're actually good moms! 

        So as I sit here writing this post, after first catching up on the night's Facebook notifications... As I sit here deciding how to spend the next 5 minutes, knowing that I'll get caught up in this task or that, and be late/frazzled/frustrated no matter what I choose... here's the point. The TL:DR (isn't it awesome that we can admit posts are "too long, didn't read"? But I digress...)

        So back to the point - How do we conquer mom guilt? We tell ourselves, and each other, over and over as often as needed, you're not a bad mom, it's okay to choose the "easy" option, and the kids are gonna be just fine. 

Pancakes or waffles?
 Either way, they'll eat.

        Let me repeat in bullet points so these magic words stand out in our heads. Feel free to write them down on a notepad, or on a receipt, or on an envelope from some junk mail, and tape it to the fridge, or to your phone cause that's where it'll for sure be seen 🤣) because even the act of writing helps memories last... (#Science)

How to Conquer Mom Guilt?

This is the secret. Repeat this mantra - loudly, softly, and often, to yourself and to others:

• You are NOT a bad mom
• It's okay to choose the "easy" option 
• The kids are gonna be just fine

That's it. No strings attached, because we moms wear so many hats, juggle so many tasks, and have so much on our plates, that we really have no room for any more mountains of red tape or hoops to jump through. Did I mix enough metaphors? Lol I'll stop.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk, and may the peace of faith in yourself lift some of that burden you're carrying. You are not alone. You are enough. You are loved.

Xoxo,

Mama Gali

Unmet Needs

Pretty much every challenge in our lives can be boiled down to unmet needs. 

Are you hangry?

Unmet need for food. 

Are you overly irritable?

You probably have an unmet need for sleep.  

Are you sad? 

Unmet need for companionship, or purpose, or exercise.

Are you anxious? 

Unmet need for safety and acceptance.

Are you hurting?

Unmet need for relief.

Are you overwhelmed?

 Unmet need for support.

            The list could go on and on, but you get the point. We all want to feel heard, to feel seen, to feel appreciated and validated and capable. Obviously I can't speak for every one of the 7.7+ billion people currently living on our planet, but I'm pretty sure this gem is universal. So if every challenge in our lives is basically caused by unmet needs... how do we fix them? How do we stop the suffering, fix the world, and find happiness/peace? Well first of all, we don't. It's not our responsibility or capability to meet every need for everyone, and it's not everyone else's responsibility to meet our needs.

If we go the philosophical route, Thomas Hobbes described human lives as

 "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short".

If we go the twelve-step route, it's up to G-d to grant us 

"...the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and Wisdom to know the difference".

If we go the comedic route... 

well we'll have to go somewhere else because I don't have jokes that are actually funny. lol.

            There are also lots of routes not listed. Actually, there are probably about as many routes to "fix" this problem of unmet needs as there are people, because each of us is our own weird blend of education and life experience, each of is damaged in our special ways. So this leads me to wonder... 

If we're all bruised and scarred,

 why do try so hard 

to pretend we're not? 

Read that again. I'll wait.

  Speaking of trying, I recently "read" an audiobook that talked a lot about trying, and not trying. If you're curious, it's called "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck", and it's by Mark Manson. I have a love-hate relationship with the title, because cussing isn't my default. You can probably tell because I chose "cuss" instead of "curse", or any of a zillion other less PG ways to say profanity. So why did I read it? Because I felt a nudge from God/The Universe, and followed it, and I am so glad that I did. The book is everything that I didn't know that I needed. Psychology and humor, life lessons not from a rabbi or scientist or celebrity, but from a normal guy, who made mistakes just like the rest of us, and found a way to write down chapter after chapter of ways to not. 

            To paraphrase an abundance of awesome, his answer to "how" is that honestly, we already know how to get our needs met, and underneath all the lies that we let ourselves believe, we don't take responsibility for our needs because it's hard. Blaming others and getting mad/scared/sad is practically automatic, and doing something about it feels uncomfortable, and sometimes impossible. So why write this post at all? Because we all have unmet needs, and we all have great power to do something about it, and if you need a little nudge to get out of your rut, here it is, because me too. 

            You don't need my permission to "just do" the scary things. But just in case it helps... you have it. Whatever challenges you're facing in this moment. You're not alone. You've got this. It WILL get better, or your money back (and I can say that with confidence because this post is free 😛)

xoxo,

Professor Gali

Opposites Attract for A Reason

 

Today I put down my to-do list. Sounds like no big deal, right? Not for me.

True story 

       Maybe its because I have low-esteem, maybe its just because #MomLife, but my thoughts are like a hamster on a wheel, running to the point of exhaustion without actually getting anywhere. 

      So after trying and failing to "power through", I made an appointment at urgent care, and that little piece of paper that says "may return to work on 12/6" is like a permission slip to rest. Side note, can you believe I insisted on walking rather than waiting?! W.T.F. I really am cray cray. 

      Some people don't need to be convinced to slow down. I am not one of those people. It's really hard for me to accept help, but then I also get overwhelmed and irritable because I'm doing everything "alone". Makes no sense? I know. My heart isn't as logical as my hub!

      Where were we again? Oh yeah,, opposites. It can be really tough when opposites smash full speed ahead into each other. It can also be really amazing when they coexist, each leaning on the other, for balance. 

      This adventure in mandatory mom-cation had a bit of a rocky start. The storm clouds were ominous and depressing before revealing their silver lining. So I turned, of course, to music, and that's the real reason for this post.

      Music has always been a source of comfort for me, so as I was wrapping my mind around protecting my family's health by first protecting my own... I listened to a favorite ballad, "Superman (It's Not Easy)" by Five for Fighting. Of course, my hamster wheel brain kept right on spinning, thinking about the opposite message of another favorite, "Defying Gravity" by the Wicked Original Broadway Cast. 

      One song is full of compassion for the tired male hero: "men weren't meant to fly, with clouds between their knees"... and the other is full of fierce motivation from the newly flying female lead: "No one's gonna bring me dooooown". Well, they say life is all about balance right? This is my takeaway from overanalyzing my love of these very different songs:

      It's okay to reach for the moon, and its okay to enjoy relax on the beach, and its okay to ask for what you need, because if you don't ask, how can you expect to receive?

      Want to hear the lyrics that I love? I got you boo.

(Click here to listen to "Superman") 

      Then, do an about face and try its opposite. Leave a comment if you dare, I'd love to chat about it... right after a nice long nap... and yes, I know that "normal" people call nighttime naps by the name "sleep", but I own my weirdness, and labels are optional to keep.

(Click here to listen to "Defying Gravity") 

Thanks for joining me on this journey. Xoxo

~ Mama Gali

Stop Running On the Stairs!

Have you ever found yourself rushing, running up (or down) a staircase? I have. The fear of being late, getting in trouble, being labeled unreliable... it's no picnic, and has been known to cause problems. At work, I've made mistakes by moving too fast. At home, I've caused physical and emotional stress to myself and others with the "hurry hurry hurry" mentality. And the universe taught me a lesson, as it's been known to do when we push too hard. Are you curious about why this post is called "Stop Running Up The Stairs"? I would be too. Here goes:

Today I saw a Facebook post with a cute and wise comic of a heart and brain on a staircase. And it got me thinking...

I'm definitely guilty of

a) running up the steps
and
b) taking two steps at a time

And that's not just a metaphor, it's also how I approach the staircase in our house (sometimes). This is not recommended and boy do I have a story to tell about that! Check out for my newest blog post, and I'll spill all the details. Where? At
midnightmommymoments.blogspot.com Falling down the stairs doesn't just happen in movies. Two years ago, I stumbled on the 3rd step from the bottom, while carrying Annabelle. She split her lip and I bruised my knee, and we both learned an important lesson in slowing down. There was no lasting damage, and we quickly applied "popsicle first aid" to AB, which helped her calm down pretty quick. Of course, hoomans have a very short attention span, and I've recently accidentally modeled the "hurry, hurry, hurry" lifestyle. Oops! Luckily, each day is a fresh start, and a new opportunity to live the values that matter. To slow down. To tackle challenges one step at a time. To be mindful in the moments big and small, and to not just skip ahead to the destination.

So, on this rollercoaster called life... "are we there yet" doesn't serve us well. When one journey ends, we rest, reload, and go 'round again.

Plus, "are we there yet" is annoying! Just ask any parent who's taken a little kid on a road trip! 🤣

Have a terrific day y'all.

P.S. Good Morning 😊

Want to see the staircase comic? I got you boo, find it here. And please please please, before you tackle the obligations and opportunities of the day, remember to stop and say, "good morning".

Why Isn’t ___ More of A Priority?!

Good Morning and Welcome!

            Today's inspiration came from the awesome and amazing Hannah Cremona, who posted this prompt: (find her group here)

My Response:

            "Honestly, I've been afraid of putting in the effort... my doctor recently told me that its clear that I'm trying... and also that I'm not giving it my best. It came from a place of love and encouragement, she genuinely want to know why nutrition wasn't a priority, when clearly, its very effective in managing my disease. It didn't take me long to reply... "I'm lazy". Changing my eating habits is HARD, or at least so I tell myself... and I believe with my whole heart that it would work... and also understand that my brain is LYING when it tells me that I can't. My heart wants to whine "its not faaaair" and as I reach for the processed convenience snack that I know my bowel will soon protest... I think to myself. You CAN resist. Life's not fair. Don't do it. After that... its a roll of the die whether I will succeed or fail, and give myself grace to try try again."

Yes, I did stage this to hide
the cluttered countertop and table 😁

 

            Oh my gosh the look on Dr. V's face when I mentioned resorting to Pop-Tarts! It was as if I'd said poison! And plain cheerios, that was my crazy health-nut-mom easy option... I had no idea that cereal was a no-no too! Her response... cheerios don't come off the tree like that. 😬 touche Dr. V.  (Find her info here)

            That's a truth that can't be denied. But it's not all about food. Those words of why isn't this more of a priority for you... they hit me in the feels. That applies to every. single. area. where we doubt ourselves. Don't believe me? Here's a non-food example.

Don't judge the crumbs, 
They're fresh 😇

            When my daughter struggles to clip her own carseat buckle, even though I've seen her do it before, I remember all the times that she's given up and begged for help, just 2 seconds before success. My momming strategy is to help her have the confidence and faith in herself to use that extra oomph (sound effects help y'all, seriously). So when she whines for help, I ask her to "Grab the whines. Take em out of your throat! Smash em into a ball, and throw em far away!" When I ask her where are we throwing them this time, her answers are so precious. Often its been a gleeful, ALABAMA! And a few times its been a confident, "into space!" Either way, we make a big show of sending away the whining so that we are ready to believe in ourselves. I talk her through problem solving the "I can't". Maybe move your hands? Maybe make sure its aligned in the right spot? Maybe keep going, try your very best and right when you want to give up, try just a tiny bit more..... and often, success! She is capable. She is strong. She can do so much, with a little bit of scaffolding (shout out to Vygotsky's theory of Child Development woot woot). Our kids don't need us to swoop in and take over... sometimes they just need a little support... and lightbulb moment... sometimes, so do we. 

            #Adulting isn't easy. And that's okay. We are capable. We are strong. We are NOT alone. And we've got this. For me, prayer is comforting, so if it's alright with y'all/you guys, I'm going to close with a prayer/praise. 

Abba Father, thank you for putting these words in my heart and head, and for giving me the platform and the time to share. Baruch ata adonai... blessed are you Lord, who has given us the gifts of technology and transportation, of family and faith, of strength and support. If it be thy will, we ask you to be our scaffold as we build up from your foundation. We ask you to comfort us when we look down in fear. We ask you to show us the way up, not the whole way, but enough to have the courage to take the next step. Inspired action comes from you, or strength comes from you, our souls come from you, and we are so so grateful for your abundant love, even as we turn from you in grief or frustration. Thank you for this new day, and this new opportunity to be our best. In your holy name, amen. 

            If you've made it this far, dear reader, your heart is open to receiving a blessing, and I claim it for you now. You've got this. You are capable. And if you want a little support, let me know. Truly, no judgment, I mean it when I say, I'd love to hear from you in the comments, or in a private message. Find me on Instagram.com/galigaligumdrop, in the pages of the books "Sadness and Us" and "Fear and Us", or on Facebook in "Gali's Great Group". 

You are not alone. You are loved. You are capable. I will say it over and over until you believe it for yourself, and I believe it deep down in the place of doubt.

Xoxo

Mama Gali

We're All Given Gifts - What's Yours?

        Today, I had a lovely back and forth in the comments section of a social media post. Yep, the internet isn't all bad, there is lots of love overshadowed by keyboard-warrior negativity. But I digress, as I often do, and that's okay. Want to hear the gem that inspired this post? No? Too bad, here it comes anyway. 😉

        So often we hesitate, we question, we envy the gifts of others, and consider ourselves unworthy. God gives us what we need to succeed, from the people in our paths, to the air that we breathe. When we trust in Him, hear and obey His call, THAT'S when things change, more than we imagined at all.

        I've been hearing more and more the call to take action, to climb out of rut and routine, and change my work priorities. When I hear that call, it often comes in a quote, in a comment, in a thought, and over and over my response has been to hesitate. I can't quit my job, I have bills! I can't lead a workshop, I might make a mistake! I'm not ready, I'm not worthy, I need to know the how (and a more clearly defined what) before I take that leap. 

        Over and over the self-doubt is followed by thoughts of encouragement. No. I don't need to see the whole mountain before I take the first step. I don't need to see the other side, before I set sail for an unfamiliar shore. My inner monologue (overshared here with you) is telling me "Hey dumb dumb, that's why they call it a leap of FAITH." If we knew all the answers, we wouldn't need to trust a higher power. And yet, when we do, when I have, wow such amazing things happen. In my life, I've taken a chance, and shared a meme or encouraging graphic with friends and acquaintances old and new. (Like very old. Like haven't talked in 10 years old 😆.) The responses I've received are positive (or neutral) every. single. time. Never negative. Either I'll get no answer, or I'll get a "thanks, I really needed that", or my favorite, the weeks letter reply after I've already forgotten what I'd shared. 🤣

        So I'm still figuring out my gifts and my purpose, at least the how, and that's okay. I'm going to heed that call, and take this tiny action, TODAY. I'm going to commit right now, take one baby step, and another will follow, I believe that, yep. What about you? What gifts do you have? Don't say none, dig deep, everyone's been given something, even you. Especially you. Feel free to take this question with you today, and let it plant a seed in your heart and mind. Although, I'd really appreciate if you'd comment, if you could be so kind... 

Have a wonderful day friends, and here's a comic and rhyme to end the post on a silly note. 

The Comic

Photo Credit to imgflip.com 

Still funny, even if you have to fill in the blank yourself!

The Rhyme

When God passed out brains,

I thought he said trains, 

and I missed mine.

When God passed out looks,

I thought he said books

And didn't want any.

When God passed out ears,

I thought he said beers

And asked for two long ones.

When God passed out legs,

I thought he said kegs

And asked for two fat ones.

When God passed out noses,

I thought he said roses

And asked for a big red one.

When God passed out heads,

I thought He said beds

And asked for a big soft one.

When God passed out hips,

I thought he said lips

And asked for two large round ones.

God am I a mess. 

~ Credit to The 1997 Chicago Tribune, Ann Landers, and Virginia in Youngstown who sent it in. Click here for the full response.

Thanks for reading this far. If you're curious about the comment thread that inspired this post, click here to read it on Facebook.

May you be blessed with vision and volition, and the inspiration to take even a tiny little step, because in hindsight, the tiny steps are actually the biggest. And in all things, remember to #LoveLouder, because love is the most powerful force of all.

XoXo,

Mama Gali 

Guilt, Shame, and Stigma

 Its okay to not be okay, publicly.

 Part of the pain of social media is that people tend to post their highlights - book launches, posed smiles, commitment to goals, etc. Of course we come out negative and not-enough when we compare ourselves to this polished perspective!

Today I challenge you to post a behind-the-scenes. Share a photo of your bedhead crazy hair, a story of when you gorged on snacks to fill an emotional void, an incident of anxiety or aggression.

Here's a peek at my behind-the-scenes 

For me as a poet, its not all rainbows and rhymes, and some of my most powerful works are dark and raw and resonate with the deepest darkest parts of us. 

Sure, the hurt tends to fade with the light of each new day, and I'm not fishing for pity, but...

The guilt and shame

 are strong and relentless, 

and if we hide our pain,

we only have ourselves 

to blame.

Will you help me #StopTheStigma by telling a behind-the-scenes story #LoveLouder applies to being kind to ourselves, as much as to others.

I'm not quite brave enough to post a fat-face tired-eyes selfie, so here's a photo of my bedside table, with the mother's day succulent that I killed by watering literally once in 2 months, my favorite hairbrush that I lose and eventually find (within the freakin house) at least 6 days a week, and the cough drops that I was too stubborn to use, but also haven't yet found the motivation to put away.  Not pictured are 3 baskets of clean laundry waiting for attention, a sink full of dishes abandoned overnight, a floor that hasn't been swept in quite a few days, and shows it. The guilt and shame over all these tasks undone is often overwhelming, and yet I often spend nights scrolling for hours, "too tired" to tackle the tasks. 

I know WHAT to do, years of therapy and loving learning have taught me all sorts of tricks and tactics. Finding the energy and motivation to start the laundry, to maintain doctor-ordered food restrictions, to set aside emotional escapes and actually sleep... that's a different story.

Will you join me in sharing the mundane, bad, and ugly, instead of always only the polished and pretty? It would mean the world.

Thanks for reading this far,

Xoxo 

Mama Gali

"Let It Go" - Easier Than It Sounds?

Hello dear readers,

Thank you for being here. Now I bet you didn't expect to be appreciated before actually getting to the topic of this post, but I'm glad that you're here. 

Even if you don't stay (and that's totally okay), I hope that something on this site, resonates today. 

This morning I had a pretty amazing interaction in a group on social media, and instead of keeping it hidden in a comments thread, I'm taking a chance and sharing it here for all the internet to see (HA, I know I'm not popular! Yet?....) Here goes.

Daily Quote/Conversation Starter

“One of the most courageous decisions you’ll ever make is to finally let go of what’s hurting your heart and soul.” — ​Unknown

Comment from Renate Z.

"Sounds easy... 😅... sometimes unconcious believes can make that a bit difficult... 😅"

Reply from me, tapping into something bigger and wiser than myself. 

"When we peel back layer by layer, and do the work of bringing the unconscious into consciousness, that's a big step towards healing. 

One technique that fascinates me is called ladders. Its a quick way to uncover core beliefs, at least for me anyway.

Ex:

 I'm stressed at work because I have too much to do and not enough time to do it.

- So what happens if you don't do it?

... I could get fired.

-So what if you get fired?

... I won't be able to pay bills

- So what if you can't pay bills?

... I could lose my house

- So what if you lose your house?

... My kids won't have a safe/warm/dry place to sleep.

- So what if they don't?

... Then I'm a terrible mom.

So in the matter of 3 minutes, I figured out that I push myself to the point of burnout at work (and often snap at hub and kids) because im afraid of being a terrible mom.

Now that I've uncovered that belief, I realize how much a lie it is, and that the job isn't whats really important in my life. "

For more amazing quotes and conversations, click here to join a group hosted on Facebook by the incredible Jenny Schmal. Don't let the title fool you, married/single/or other this group will add value to your life. 

WOW. Society tells us that hard things are "easier said than done", but honestly, this revelation took me less than 5 minutes once I stopped believing it was so hard and took the first step to think about it. We psych ourselves out about so many "big" problems in our lives, but psychology techniques like "Laddering" from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a lot easier than it sounds. 

When we use fancy words, sure it sounds kind of elitist and "not for me". But really, psychology is basically the science of understanding human behavior. Believe it or not, a lot of very smart people have figured a lot about how our brains and behaviors tend to work, and without all that much effort, we can peek into this wealth of knowledge, and withdraw what we need. 

Like Aladdin in the "Cave Of Wonders" or Elsa (and Anna!) in the "Forbidden Forest", we can change so many lives by having the courage, to just try. 

Photo Credit: Grosh.com 

I hope that you're encouraged by this share, 

and that you give yourself grace to not compare.

I hope that you let go

Of one belief that is your foe.

Or at least take a tiny step

If you seek it, there's lots of help.

Not all support, is only for the rich

There's so much free online,

If you let your mindset switch.

Call out your "cant", 

That's the end of my rant. 

Claiming and manifesting peace, love, and patience, for you and me and all the world to see. 

Xoxo 

Mama Gali

Wait. Rewind. Playback. Whoa.

 Today, as my daughter was watching one of those weird unwrapping videos in another language, I asked her

"Wouldn't you rather go play with your toys, than watch someone else play?"

Her answer? A very casual yet clear "Nah".

So she went back to her video, and I went back to catching up on my social media, and then it hit me. Like a lightbulb, firework, supernova of synapses in my brain...

Mind. Blown.

"Wouldn't you rather go play with your toys, than watch someone else play?"

YES. I would actually. I'd much rather go water the vegetable garden, splash in the tub, make silly sounds as I for once make time to actually read the never-ending stack of books my little ones request at bedtime. 

I believe with all my heart that often, a higher power gives us words to speak that we also need to hear ourselves. Tonight was one of those moments. It's time to stop living the "Do as I say, not as I do" philosophy, and actually live the life that I want my kids to see and appreciate and participate and create. 

So this is me, putting my invisible money where my mouth is, and putting down the phone, and inviting you to do it too. (Total coincidence that mine badly needs to be charged 🤣).

Xoxo

Mama Gali 

#DownloadComplete

 Today's insight - Society loves to tell us that we're wrong, and to judge us so often and so early that we can't help but judge ourselves too. 

This post doesn't have an image because I hesitated trying to find the perfect one, while also strongly believing that anything I chose would take away from whatever personal perspective each reader might need. 

It's not my place to tell you what to receive, I'm just putting this out, perfect in it's imperfection, and I hope that it will reach you at the right time, whenever that is. 

Read on, and feel free to comment or private message me your reaction, or not.

*************

A message came loud and clear into my mind today, that it's okay to do things your way. 

The path that you choose is not wrong, no matter how persuasively or aggressively others might try to push you down another. 

So think for a moment about this path that you're choosing, and yes, open your eyes to the millions of choices big and small. You don't HAVE to choose THESE choices at all. 

Are you choosing these choices because they're really what you want? Because they're easy, or expected, comfortable or thrilling?

And choice that you're making right now in this moment, does it bring you peace? 

The choice is yours, and no one else's, and it's okay to do it your way, and no one elses. 

#DownloadComplete

The Secret to Happiness

Have you ever wondered about the secret to happiness, searching and stressing when it eludes you? The secret is this: Live lightheartedly. No gimmicks, no suspense, read on before you scoff that it's not. The secret has more, but love's at the core, read on if you've been yearning to open that door. (Oops, can't seem to avoid rhyme-time!). Seriously though, it really is that easy.

Live love-ly, live laugh-ly, live lightly, that's how we find peace and joy. 

When we keep things simple, enjoy life's dimples, our souls vibrate like purring felines, 

Our hearts thump like wagging tails, our minds finally radiate calm, 

And Oh, what a wonderful feeling that is!

Abhor hate, enjoy the outdoors, step away from the endless wanting of stuff,

Uncover the core, and you'll see that it's love. 

Love thy neighbor AND thyself, 

And believe without labels in something greater...

Guaranteed, it'll improve your health. #LoveLouder #LoveAlways #LoveLots 

Inspired by the concept of "Cheerful Fatalism", which is accepting without feeling hopeless, that whatever will be, will be. (Full definition here).

Thanks for reading. I hope that you find peace and comfort, and give yourself permission to be sad, or mad, or scared, and of course happy. 

 xoxo

Mama Gali

Boundaries - 3 Reasons They Can Change Your Life

 Do you struggle with setting and enforcing boundaries? 

Limits on your time, your energy, your attitude? 

You're not alone.

Did you also know that hummingbirds generally fly alone?

    It can be so hard to set limits, especially if you're a people pleaser like me, but it is so SO worth it, and here's a quick list of reasons as proof. Take a quick minute to read this list, then stop your mindless scrolling and take back your time.

1. True Friends will Understand

    Whether you're in a busy season of life, or stressed out of your mind and needing to make change, true friends will understand. If you (respectfully) set limits on your time, and your friends don't understand, maybe that relationship is more about convenience then love, and that's okay. 

    We all have friendships of convenience, and not all friends were meant to stay in our lives forever. As much as social media can leave us feeling lonely and less than enough, it also has incredible power to connect us with a tribe of friends who really care. 

    Don't believe me? Here's a truth bomb. I don't have a lot of "true" friends, and it's my own fault. Instead of calling local friends and making time to meet up (with or without kids tagging alone), I spend hours and hours mindlessly scrolling, telling myself the lie that there's no time. And yes, when I'm feeling lonely I reach out. But guess what, I'm not just sending that "hi" message to one person. The #Realtalk truth is that I probably send 3-12 "hi" messages, and hope that someone will be available to fill the void. When I've actually called (instead of texted) friends, and need to hang up after 5 minutes to spare them the screaming of an angry toddler, they understand. Or at least that's what they tell me when I apologize over and over .... 😔

2. Confidence Boost

    When we try to set limits, and it works (oh my gosh imagine), there is such a confidence and mood boost that comes with #winning. For those who have a miles long to-do list, try the "If I Could Only Pick 3" exercise, and check off the most important/urgent items before anything else. This isn't just one of those weird textbook experiments, it actually works.

     In my call center job and also at home, the task list never ends, and new tasks seem to get added faster than I can keep up. When I invest even 5 minutes in planning my day, and making a visual reminder of order-of-importance tasks, wow things actually get done. Through the magic of planning, I'm able to break down my scary-overwhelming day into manageable chunks, and every time I finish a task there's that dopamine rush of marking it done. Eventually, when the end of the day arrives, I can look objectively at the things I didn't do, because they're surrounded by all the things that I did, and that makes all the difference.

3. Healthy x 3

    Setting limits is healthy for mind, body, and soul. Those aren't just pretty words, there is science to back it up. 

• Athletes who push too hard get injured. 

• Minds that don't get a break wreak havoc on our emotions

(like in that animated movie where Joy, Anger, Sadness, Disgust, and Fear take turns shouting in their own styles, "hey, hey, you better stop!)

•  Even the soul needs limits, we can't give and give and give to everyone else without ever allowing ourselves to take.

Boundaries are so important, and yet, we're not taught to make them a priority. Or maybe we are, and just ignore those voices of reason in favor of the natural instincts to want more, do more, be more.

***********************

So as I work to set (and actually enforce) boundaries in my life. I hope that my friends and family will understand, and that we'll all be happier and healthier as a result.

On that note, my kids have been calling my name for 20 minutes, off to do all the mom things that waited not-so-patiently for me to wrap up!

May your boundaries be respected, and may the seeds of your self-care grow and grow until you bloom into your best self.

xoxo

Mama Gali

Something Great

 Today, a coworker had the courage to confide a "random thought", that she felt I was being groomed for something bigger. Honestly, my heart melted a little bit because I've been feeling the same way, and it felt really nice to have those feelings validated. 

At one point during this not-so-gradual transformation from a hesitant underachieving to a ... title yet-to-be-determined confident lifechanger, the doubt got so strong that I thought I was crazy. Not "haha that's nuts" but full on psychotic break grandiose thinking you need to be locked up crazy. It wouldn't be the first time... Knowing what I do about bipolar disorder and the gift-curse of full-blown mania, having learned the hard way that being consistent with mood stabilizer medication is vital (at least for me), I was scared, and honestly that's a sign of just how much I've grown. 

There's a parenting quote that I really like, REEEALLY like, about how if you're worried that you're doing it wrong, that's a sign that you're doing it right. This translates to managing my mental health diagnosis too. If I'm noticing red flags, and taking steps to seek support instead of denying the snowball... well that's a pretty giant difference from last time. At least today I can be confident that if I mess up and land in a "behavioral health facility" again, it won't be because I didn’t learn my lesson. 

So... back to the "something greater" thesis of this not-for-college-entrance personal statement.... I'm not hallucinating. I'm not "crazy" except for the part where I own my crazy. People rarely own their crazy, and if that makes me crazy, I don't want to be anything else. For the first time in my life, I've felt called to something huge, and I haven't stopped myself from following the path. 

Sure, I'm giving myself permission to take baby steps, to pause and soak up all that the present has to offer before diving with both feet into the deep end of the future. (I never learned how to dive properly so it would probably be more like a literal arms-flailing, screaming-the-whole-way leap of faith...) where was I? Oh yeah, groomed for something greater.

Finally, it seems like all of my education and experience are coming together towards... something. It's not 100% clear yet what that something is, and that's okay. Many times in life we don't get to know the destination, or even the twists and turns and pitstops and detours on the route. Many times in life, we are forced to live each moment, not necessarily as if its our last, but as a moment, an ordinary night putting away laundry because, if this moment DOESN'T turn out to be our last... it would be nice to have clean clothes available.

Thanks for reading.

I hope that you'll keep following this wild ride, maybe take your turn at the wheel, and join me for what I'm confident is going to be a pretty amazing incredible awesome view from the mountaintop. (Sorry not sorry for mixing metaphors).

Sending positive vibes and permission that you didn't ask for but are getting anyway...

~Mama Gali

Why I Take Steps

        It seems like someone is always fundraising for something, and it can feel impossible to balance a budget during girl scout cookie season. So for those who feel like they can't give $, I understand. Here's a little piece of my story, a mini behind-the-scenes look at why this cause matters to me, and why now.

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW 
WHY I TAKE STEPS?

        Imagine being 14 years old, swearing up and down that you're NOT anorexic, and that you're not eating because your stomach hurts. You keep going to school because honestly, the distraction helps, but your blood boils every time someone notices your size 8 turned size 00 figure and comments "you like great!". My mom raised me with good manners so I put on that fake smile, said something like "aww thanks" and vented to my friends later. Imagine being 14 years old, and being scheduled for a colonoscopy. Thank God that my tribe was mostly future doctors, and they were fascinated more than grossed out by the "butt camera" details. Fast forward 10 years and hundreds of blood draws later, and imagine the next chapter of the battle. Imagine you have a husband and a job, and after years of being relatively okay, the pain is back with a vengeance. Your doctor suggests surgery. For years, you've been so careful, knowing that getting pregnant during a flare could be disastrous, and your doctor tells you not to let your disease control your life. But what if... and what if... the fears are too scary to even speak them.

        Now fast forward one more time, another 7 years to the current day. You're living the American dream. Married, employed, with 2.5 kids and a house with a yard. Your disease is under control (at least according to the tests), but you still have accidents more often than your children. You look at these adorable amazing miniature versions of yourself, and remember that your disease has a genetic component.

        Sure, I'd love a cure for Crohn's Disease. I'd love to not need IV medication every 8 weeks, to not need to think about horrible prep drink for at least 20 years, instead of 3. But that stuff doesn't bother me anymore. Like so many other hardships in life, I've adjusted, and barely notice that it's not normal. I take steps and I am 100% committed to this cause, not for myself, but for the millions of younger patients. For the ones who got diagnosed at age 7, and never got to have a normal childhood. For the ones who's surgery didn't help, who's medication doesn't help, and who feel like they won't ever be able to date, or work, or go on vacation like a normal person. I #TakeSteps to stop the stigma, to raise funds, and to do what I can to save others from the pain that I've experienced.

        I've lived with Crohn's Disease since sophomore year of high school, and have had more than my fair share of pokes and prods. Yes, it's true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and my diagnoses helped shape me into who I am today... but that doesn't mean I'd wish it on my worst enemy. So if you can spare the cost of a few fast food meals, consider donating them to CCFA, your guts will be glad that you did, and many others will be forever grateful.

xoxo

MamaGali

What If....

Good morning,

This post is for you, and you, and you over there in the back. Yes, I see you. I've been you, and I'm here to tell you that it's okay to show up, to speak up, to be seen. There's a middle ground between standing in the spotlight, and hiding in the shadows, and for me, that middle ground is here.

 This newest poem, "STOP" is for all those like me, for each person who for far too long has held back from being true to their heart. It's time to start stopping, start starting, and live.

 "STOP" 

What if we put a STOP

To feeling ashamed?

What if we shared our truth?

Like an innocent child

With no filter,

Who hasn't yet learned 

To hold back and hide.

"Conceal don't feel"

Sings the queen of ice and snow.

And maybe 

we can't help

But sing along 

because

 that's what we've been told 

for years and years

just like she was.

What if we put a STOP

To feeling ashamed?

How much happier would we feel

Showing up authentically?

Sure there'd be haters,

There always are...

But if we STOP being afraid 

If we STOP being ashamed

THAT'S when we find our tribe.

And finding your  tribe

is priceless.

    As part of my 2021 "100% Committed" mission, I make a commitment to myself, and to you. I commit to show up authentically, at home, at work, online, and anywhere else where I might spend time.  So often we give advice to others, not following it ourselves. That's why one of my many missions this year is to "Walk the Walk and Talk the Talk, for IBD and for Me", I'm going to confess that the first draft of this message was #PostedFromThePot. Actually, some of my best poetry and prose is written from the "throne", because as a mom of 2 living with Crohn's Disease, I spend more than my fair share of time in the restroom. Okay I admit, sometimes I'm hiding out, hoping for an extra minute alone. Often though, I'm just following my gut, and a gut with chronic inflammation doesn't have the same needs as one without.

    I've decided to set aside the shame that so often is linked to Irritable Bowel Disease. Sure, my guts are cranky and overactive, but often, so are my thoughts, and my years on this Earth have taught me that #RealTalk can help me (and you) process the chaos within, literally AND metaphorically!

    Will you join me in this quest as I #TakeSteps and share my story, as I #StopTheStigma by starting conversations? I hope that you will (no pressure though, truly).

    Let me know in the comments, or, if you're not quite ready, click here to show your support with a donation to Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America. CCFA is an organization that funds research for a cure for Crohn's Disease, and it's cousin Ulcerative Colitis. They also fund much-needed support for newly diagnosed patients, and so much more. CCFA helped me when I needed it most, and all these years later, I've finally found the courage to talk about it.

    I hope that you'll start a conversation with me, in public or in private, and know that I won't judge. You are loved, and you are NOT your illness, you are NOT your struggle, you are so much more.

Xoxo

MamaGali

Life Lessons from 2020 *Spoiler Alert* Take Action

Do you want this year to be better? Me too. 

So what are we gonna do about it???

I say "we" because you're not alone, and neither am I. 90% of men, women, and children struggle on our path to success because we try to do it all and have it all without symbiotic support. Symbiotic is a fancy biology word for "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours". And you can fact-check that all you want, it's not fake news because 88% of all statistics are made up on the spot 😉.

My life lessons for 2020 are listed below, in a graphic, in a poem, in a list, because that's the way that my mind works. If you're in a rush, and too lazy to read all the way through (yeah I said it) here's a spoiler. The year, the month, the minute, they're as good or as bad as you decide that they'll be, and that's not an exaggeration. Each of us has so much more power over our attitude and over our circumstances than we give ourselves credit for. How do I know? 

I've learned it and I've lived it. 

If you need a scientific study to believe what I'm telling you, they're out there. If you prefer to pray about it, well nothing's standing in your way. If you prefer to just read on, and make up your own mind, c'mon then, here we go.

The Gali-Original Graphic

The Gali-Original Poem

 "Here's How"

When we collaborate, 
when we conversate, 
when we courageously create,

THAT'S when the magic happens.

When we're authentic, when we're true, 
when we follow our hearts
stop thinking, and DO  

THAT'S when the magic happens.

Decision time friends.

Will you choose to keep waiting,
to keep wishing, to keep wanting,
Or will you take inspired action,

and make magic with me?

                                               The Gali-Original Bonus Poem

You don't need my permission, but you have it all the same.  

It's time to take the wheel and drive, or if you prefer, take the reins. 

Whatever metaphor you end up choosing, the end result doesn't change. 

The power is yours. The choice is yours.  
What you will you choose?

 The Gali-Original List

1. Dream Your Destiny

2. Plan Your Path

3. Take Inspired Action

So now that I've shared my life lessons from 2020 in all sorts of different formats, what have I decided

I've decided that I'm going to choose laughter. When my house and my heart feel chaotic, I'm going to choose not to scream, I'm going to choose not to stress, I'm going to choose not to cry. Instead, I choose laughter, I choose love, I choose life. And if and when I forget, I'll give myself permission to try again.

Those moments of the day, those Manic Mondays and Terrible Tuesdays, each ordinary playlist of Eat. Work. Sleep. Repeat. Those moments make the memories that we'll look back on when we're older. One of my favorite songs taught me how many minutes make up a year (spoiler alert - its 525,600 minutes), and we have so much more power over how we spend those minutes than we believe.

So if you feel trapped, then move. You're not a tree! 

It really is that simple. Now, I'm not advising you to quit your job today, but I'm also not advising you to stay. I'm just saying, stop overcomplicating everything, stop living in a prison of your creation and then complaining that its uncomfortable. Now, before you accuse me living in a glass house and throwing stones, I hear myself. I know that these words are for me as much as for you. Personally, I believe God gave me this gift over words so that I can use it. So that when I put pen to paper and when my fingers fly, maybe, just maybe, I'll stop stop "I". Maybe my eyes will be opened at last, and maybe yours will too.

So as 2020 comes to an end, my lessons learned are these. Choose Laughter. Choose Life. Choose Joy. Choose them every minute of every day, and if you stumble, get back up. It won't be easy, but you're not alone, and neither am I.  The bible says "All things are possible...", and if you fire your cynical side, your skeptical side, your doubts, maybe you'll start to believe it as much as I do.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. Take inspired action TODAY. There's really no reason to wait, and let me know how it goes. I'd love to support you on this wild ride, and even share mine too.

If you haven't made it this far, well you've already clicked away, so you won't even see when I release my inner toddler and use a gif to make a face at you!

 

Sending you peace, love, and light, in this year and the next,
Your friend, Mama Gali

Perfect Imperfections

My name is Gali, and I'm a perfectionist. 

If that sentence reminded you of the share format of alcoholics anonymous, that was the point. Perfectionism, for me, feels like an addiction. The craving for organization amidst the chaos, and the guilt when I inevitably make a mess, is exactly like an addiction. 

Sometimes it feels like every area of my life is chaotic - my home, my relationships, my health, the list goes on. The joy and the curse of motherhood is that we constantly live in a world of the perfectly imperfect. Yes, 10 years from now my kids might remember that I rarely swept the floor, and that might affect their own future choices about how to maintain a household. They'll also remember the many times that we baked together, walked the neighborhood together, sang silly songs together. Perfectly imperfect. 

High-functioning anxiety plays a role too. Do I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect because I'm terrified to fail? Because the concept of imposter syndrome resonates so deeply with my life experience? Yep. And now that I recognize that anxiety isn't just shaking hands and a racing heart, it can also manifest in overthinking and overlapping and overstepping, well now I can get help.

Did you notice the rainbow, or the out of order colors, or both?

Whether its medication or mediation, therapy regularly or joining a gym, confiding in a friend, or registering for mt friend's course "Firing Ms. Perfect" ... awareness is way more than half the battle. My ducks are not in a row, heck I'm pretty sure there's a duck hanging with the dust bunnies under the couch and another trying to climb out of the pile of clothes on the bedroom floor, and that's okay.

So I confess that I'm perfectly imperfect. The acceptance part... I'll get back to you on that.

I know in my rational mind that I AM enough and AM loved, if I could only convince my heart of the same life would be peachy. 

Wishing you peace, love, and acceptance of the inevitable imperfections.

Xoxo,

Mama Gali