Invisible

Sometimes I feel invisible. Not just my illness, but myself. I could spend hours doing dishes and laundry and picking up toys, and 30 minutes later the toddler tornado has me back at square one.

I'll admit, I have a bad habit of putting things down wherever I am, and not where they belong, and this contributes to the mess. I'm working on that.

I'm aware that the problem exists, and that's the first step down the path to a solution.

This week is Crohns and Colitis Awareness Week, and I've been sharing my personal IBD story on Facebook and Instagram. It takes courage to #EscapeTheStall and talk about my symptoms (mostly diarrhea and urgency), and I'm practicing being brave, standing up and speaking out, with each day that passes.

It took me a long time to get diagnosed. My mom advocated for me, and even at age 15, when I'd much rather have buried my nose in books, I advocated for myself. I had no choice. The pediatrician couldn't figure it out, my mom's family doctor couldn't either, and when I AGAIN insisted that I did NOT have an eating disorder, I went to a GI specialist and they said Crohn's Disease almost immediately. Most people my age haven't even thought about a colonoscopy, but I'm already a pro.

 (Pro Tips: Chill it, and Don't drink water in advance so that when its time to start you're REALLY thirsty)

How can a medicine that's used to treat diarrhea have the side effect of diarrhea?! All jokes aside, I've been on all kinds of meds over the past 15 years, and have my fingers crossed that more options are found before I need them. 

Surgery was really scary, but the pain relief made it 10,000% worth it.

Even in "remission" I have symptoms. Lucky for me, I'm so used to them that I've nearly forgotten what it feels like to be healthy. 

My journey isn't over, but that doesn't mean that I can't share my story. 

#IBDVISIBLE 

Crossroads: A Poem About Choices

So I've been thinking about my career, about my goals, dreams, passions, and I was inspired. Leave a comment if you like!

Crossroads
Sitting at the crossroads
Afraid to choose a path,
Sitting at the crossroads
Doing mental math...

Weighing the pros
And weighing the cons,
Stretching my neck
To see farther beyond.

What if I choose wrong
Wont change add more stress?
What if the change I want so much
Isn't for the best?

Weighing every factor
Before I take a step,
Sitting at the crossroads
Stretching out my neck...

Deliberation is exhausting
Sometimes I take a break,
Sleeping at the crossroads
Another birthday, time for cake!

Sleeping at the crossroads
Afraid to make my move,
Time to dance out all my fears
And really get in that groove.

Stuck in a rut
But at least I'm content,
I'm not complaining
Though sometimes I vent.

Sitting at the crossroads
With many paths around,
I don't know which to pick
Possibilities abound.

Sitting at the crossroads
Criss-cross applesauce,
Close my eyes and open my heart
And listen to The Boss.

Open my ears
Let that inner voice speak,
My journey has really just begun
I'm far from reaching my peak.

Sitting at the crossroads
Waiting for a nudge,
But sometimes what it really takes
Is a great big monster shove!

Sitting at the crossroads
Until I no longer have a choice,
Scared to take a baby step
Ignoring my inner voice.

Then life throws lots of curveballs
I duck and dodge and weave,
And then I get hit right smack in the face
It's time to finally believe.

Believe that I got this
It'll all be okay,
Believe that God's working for my good
Even through the pain.

That curveball really hurt
And it didn't have to hit,
If I hadn't sat at the crossroads
It probably would've missed.

So sit at the crossroads
But dont linger too long,
It doesn't really matter
If the choice you choose is wrong.

Learn from the mistake
Rise up and fight the fight,
Face each day's curveballs
Shining with your light.

Shine bright like a star
Knowing that you've tried,
And if the ending doesn't fit
It means you haven't died.

The path is winding with some dark spots
And maybe at the end,
All the paths wind up together
Your choices were pretend.

Is life preordained
Do we have a destiny?
All I know is that tomorrow
Cannot be foreseen.

So I was sitting at the crossroads
Making perfect plans,
When life threw me some curveballs
And I put it in God's hands.

Let go and let God,
and keep fighting the fight,
And never let lifes challenges
put out your inner light!

Which is the path less traveled?!

Something's Gotta Give

It might seem like I have it all together, juggling a job, kids, hubby, and house, but in reality, there's never enough time to do everything on my list.

This past weekend, my list included putting away 4 loads of clean laundry, prepping goodie bags and food for my daughter's birthday party in the park, getting us to school/work and back, and getting us all to bed early so that we wouldn't be cranky on party day.

That's a pretty big list, and it didn't all get done. My priorities tend to be extremely out of whack, and I get major anxiety if the little things get pushed aside. I had a vision for the perfect pinterest/budget friendly party, and when the weekend started to go off plan I was very irritated with everyone.

Party Decor Goal

Party Decor Reality

There are only 24 hours in every day, and if your list is unrealistic, something's gotta give. For me, self-care and time with hubby are the first to get knocked to the bottom. I KNOW that this is terrible, and those two need to be at the top. Tell that to my brain which races with ideas and plans and overloads my days and nights.

DIY Graham cracker ocean treats

I'm working on changing my attitude to stress less and enjoy more. Easier said than done.

George Carlin has a quote "Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things." I love that quote because I do sweat the petty things, and it's not good for my mental, physical, or financial health.

So I'm trying. Every day and night I'm working on my priorities. I take time to meditate. I ask myself, do I really need to worry about xyz, and I pray. I trust that everything happens for a reason, and as much as I hate snapping at my loved ones, those moments lead to conversations that can move us towards a healthier tomorrow.

It's been said "Don't compare your behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel" and my behind the scenes has a lot of tears and occasional yelling. Of course those moments don't get captured on film. We're all just doing our best, and very much "faking it til we make it".

Since I'm writing this at 2:45 AM, and I'm working on healthy priorities, I'm going to stop now, and get some more sleep.

Sweet dreams and flying machines,
~Mama Gali

Why I Love the Library

I love libraries and I'm not afraid to say so!

Growing up, I had a small library about 2 blocks from my house. After school and on weekends I'd grab a big bag, leash up the dog, and walk over to Parkville Branch. They had a bike rack outside where doggies would wait while I filled up my goodie bag with books and movies. Whether you're bored, on a budget, or a bookworm, the local library truly has something for everyone.

I'll admit, often my book haul would be heavier than recommended for middle school shoulders, (free weight lifting!), but I wouldn't trade those walks for anything. 

Hi, my name is Gali and I'm addicted to books. On the bright side, its only a problem if it impairs functioning, right?

Thankful for tacos, I hear that!

Visiting the local library, first with my mom, then with friends, now with my own kids, has taught me so much. I have an excellent vocabulary, and an appreciation for figurative language.
Cookie monster is obsessed with chocolate chip treats, Gali monster is obsessed with books. Give me a good book and a few hours to read, and I'll be one happy mama.

Honest confession, recently I haven't been reading for pleasure as much as I once did. Why? Mountains of required reading in college, full time job and full time family, and social media ruining my attention span are a few of my excuses.

Anyway, today I had a stack of books to return (my eyes are definitely bigger than my bookshelf) so I packed up the kids and headed over to Harris County Public Library Lone Star College Branch. We easily spent 2 hours there, and skipping her nap helped my toddler get to bed early.

(Practical life item: Lacing)

Simple puzzles with large knobs - great for infants/beginners

I left the library with a stack of books, a new friend, and a happy heart.

Thanks HCPL and LSC, for a wonderful afternoon.

Spin a story: early literacy sequencing game

Manipulatives for little hands

 Board teaching colors, numbers, animals, & latches

So, long story short,
why do love the library?
Here's a list:

• So many books!
• Puzzles
• Coloring table 
• Kids corner with puppets and games 
• Infant/toddler Storytime
• Social clubs
• Creative seasonal decor
• Magazines
• DVDs/Blu-Ray
• Teaches responsibility by charging for late returns
• Computers
• Mommy friends
• Free air conditioning in summer

• Did I mention all the books?
• Ebooks
• Audiobooks 
• Graphic novels 
• Books to encourage good behavior 86y z
• Books to talk about sensitive topics like divorce

P.S. There's an app for that. Yes y'all, it's TRUE, libraries are NOT obsolete. They have Instagram accounts and multiple free apps (Libby, Overdrive) and computer classes too! Check out your local library, or mine, for more details and the event calendar.

Kitchen Hack

FYI, this blog isn't all serious stuff, I'll be sharing recipes and jokes and random photos too.

So for those of us who cook, however that might look, have you ever had a pot boil over? To prevent the mess, try laying a wooden spoon across the top of the pot. I have no idea why, but it works.

As promised, here's a recipe:
5 Minute Oatmeal to Get You Going When You're Stuck
Ingredients:
old fashioned oats
1 small apple
Raisins to taste (substitute/add prunes or apricots as desired)
A few shakes ground cinnamon (substitute sky cinnamon as desired 😋)
Brown sugar to taste (I suggest 1 tsp)

Instructions:
1. Boil water, 1 cup for 1 serving
2. As the water is boiling, dice (that means chop in itty bitty cubes) apple or other fruit
3. When the water is boiling, add oats (.5 cup for 1 serving), add raisins, apple cubes, cinnamon, and sugar
4. Cook 5 minutes (it might still look watery but fear not, it will set after you turn off the heat)
5. Serve warm and bon appetit!

Speak Up

Speak UP

Speak UP for those in the back,
For those who live in fear,
For those who have no voice.

Speak UP for those in the dark,
For those who need to hear
what you have to say.

Speak UP for your friends,
for your family,
for your neighbors.

Maybe I'm not my brother's keeper,
But I can be his advocate,
his friend,
his megaphone.

So if there's a thought, a hug, an "I love you" waiting to be unleashed from the bowels of your brain, set it free, let it go, share it, because "Love is a powerful thing to waste".

For more poems, motivational quotes, and cuteness, follow me on Instagram @galigaligumdrop

Peace, love, and free hugs,
~Mama Gali

Work-Life Balance

Work-life balance is hard.

It doesn't matter if you're a mom who works outside the home, a stay at home mom, a work from home mom, or not a mom at all. No matter what your situation, it can be very very, did you hear me VERY tough, to find that necessary balance between the things that "should" get done, the job duties, housework, etc., and the things that "could" get done, the outings, family time, self-care etc.

Today I chose to stay home from work with my infant son who has a stomach virus. It was a tough decision, and it shouldn't have been. Even though he doesn't have a fever, and didn't get suspended from day care (he was just barely under the number of loosey poopsies that would have required him to stay home), I knew in my heart that he's contagious, and it would be unfair to him, to the other day care families, and to the hard working staff, for me to push the limits and wait for that inevitable call requiring me to go pick him up.

I CHOSE to spend 4 hours of my night at urgent care, and pay an unnecessary $35 copay (he was prescribed hydration) so that I could get a doctor's note to cover my absence. I felt GUILTY for missing work, for "abandoning" my team, for listening to my mommy instincts and doing what in my heart I knew was right.

(Chicken soup because taking a healthy toddler to urgent care is terrifying, and diaper cream and pedialyte for the baby)

I felt GUILTY for taking care of my 5 month old son. Why? Because the system is broken. Employees are pushed to their limits, and sometimes beyond. They are asked to reschedule doctor's appointments, and denied use of paid time off for non-medical reasons like a child's school function, to suit the needs of the business.

I know that I'm replaceable at work. And sometimes I get so stressed out by the balancing act that I feel replaceable at home too.

This is a PROBLEM.

We need to speak out, to share our stories, to advocate for ourselves, and each other, because the mom guilt is real, and don't get me started on the dad guilt/pressures of modern fatherhood.

We need to support each other. We need to change the system, one incident at a time, so that medical students don't delay starting their own families to take care of others. So that minimum wage workers don't go to work sick because they can't afford to rest.

Going outside without a coat doesn't make you sick, but going to work sick spreads germs that could've been contained.

You might say that it's no big deal, that it's "just a cold", but for a 6 week old infant who just started day care because his mom didn't have paid maternity leave or family nearby, that "just a cold" could be deadly. I'm not exaggerating. Ask google to tell you about RSV.

Work-life balance is hard, but it doesn't need to be.

It's up to each of us, it's up to YOU friend, to change the broken system, one comment, one call out of work, one conversation with your boss at a time.

Today I needed a break from my full-time job. As much as I hate that Noah has a stomach virus, I feel like a higher power was nudging me towards a decision that I never would have made otherwise.

Everything happens for a reason. This blog post happened for a reason. Help me change the system.

Rant over.

Peace, love, and chicken soup,
~ Mama Gali

Next day update: Noah is doing much better. I dropped him off late today following a previously scheduled check up, and he made it through the afternoon without incident.  I feel so blessed that he's not extra fussy, and is sleeping well through this adventure.

Weekend update: Noah's doing excellent and I also a similar post in my social media feed. Here's a quote and link - "People are worried about their jobs. PLEASE reassure your hard working employees that their jobs are secure, whenever possible. Loyalty goes both ways.” 
https://www.workingmother.com/bernie-reifkind-mom-crying-loyalty

Thankfulness

ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE 

Today, I'm thankful that I have 8 clean bottles in preparation for hubby being away for an overnight work trip. Since Noah drinks about 5 bottles each day, this takes some pressure off of bedtime.

Since its almost 2 am, I'm off to dreamland.

Peace, love, and Similac

~Mama Gali

Invest in Yourself, Because You're Worth It

Education is priceless. Okay I know sometimes its expensive (dont get me started on college tuition) but sometimes it's free, if we only open our minds and ears to accept it.

Today I took a professional development class offered by my employer called "Invest in Your Debt ". The teacher told us he had quit his job as a tenured professor to teach businesses various courses as a private consulting. I got up the courage to ask a few questions during the 10 minute break, and I'm so glad that I did. Dr. Watson was encouraging and gave me some excellent advice.

The bible says "ask and ye shall receive" and the more I ask, the more confirmation I receive that this is an honest truth.

So be confident, be courageous, get out of your comfort zone and take the leap. The millionaire mindset begins with an investment in yourself.

Peace, love, and positive energy,
~ Mama Gali

I Need Help

Three little words that can make a world of difference... I. Need. Help.

I know the difference that asking for help can make, and yet for me and many others, it is REALLY hard to ask for what you need. I've been thinking about communication lately. I've been thinking about why I feel like I'm drowning sometimes, and why I hate reaching out, and how I can change my communication style to catch myself before I go over the edge.

This is what I came up with. (Arg let me change that, not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition...) Here's a list of my discoveries:

•  I don't always know what, specifically, I need, and don't have the energy for follow up questions 
• I don't want to be a burden
• I "should" be strong enough to handle xyz (more on "shoulds" in a future post)
• Assertiveness is not my strong suit
• I avoid confrontation 

So, if I don't know what I need, and I don't like to be a burden, how can I avoid this feeling of drowning (in debt, in laundry, in stress, etc.). I came up with another list as a solution.

• Be direct/specific - ex: Can we have breakfast for dinner and get to bed early? I'm tired.
• Ask and ye shall receive  (on the flip side of that is if you don't ask, you probably won't receive) 
• Reach out when things are good, if you wait until they're not, it'll only be tougher 
• Offer help to others when you can (what goes around comes around kinda thing)
• Accept help when its offered (ex: if someone offers to pay for your lunch when you're struggling, accept the gift and pay it forward later) 

Okay so that's a lot of lists for tonight, and as Robert Frost wrote in one of my favorite poems Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, "I've got promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep."

Peace, love, and sweet dreams

~Midnight Mama

Jealousy Solution: Flip. That. Script.

In the therapy world, it's advised not to compare yourself to others. This is MUCH easier said than done!

I find that my brain, like so many others, tends to focus on negative comparisons. "She's a better mom than me because she cooks healthier food" or "He's more successful than me because he makes more money". These comparisons are lies, and usually end up lowering my self-esteem and stealing my joy.

So what's the solution?

Don't worry y'all, I've got one! Next time you find yourself on the losing side of a comparison, try to "flip the script" and make it a "Creative Comparison"...

So if I'm jealous of my sister in law's DIY Halloween costumes and awesome sewing skills (true story) I'm going to FLIP. THAT. SCRIPT. and instead find 3 positive things about our Halloween.
1) The kids were adorable and had fun
2) Costumes were bought at a consignment sale so they didn't kill the budget (more on that soon!)
3)  After the indoor trunk or treat event, Annabelle had a blast putting sticker faces on sticker pumpkins. Thanks to her Aunt for sending those!

By switching the negative thoughts for positive ones, you can stop that liar brain of yours from making you feel like a poop emoji and realize that no one is perfect, and the grass is always greener where you water it. For more on how to "flip the script" check out the Facebook page "Ban the Shame" which is operated by my dear friend J.

 So friends, when you catch yourself comparing, "water your own grass" and stock up on happy memories. You'll need them for your patronus.

~Peace, love, and popcorn,
Mama Gali

Gratitude

Last year a friend of mine (Deb from authenticdeb.com) inspired me to purchase a lovely journal and write in it daily for a month, attracting good things into my life with each sentence I wrote.

After the 30 days, okay okay during the 30 days, I stopped writing daily. Every now and then I pick up the journal with its pen clipped to the spiral binding, turn to the next page, and write a gratitude list.

I have to keep a pen with the journal because honestly, I'd lose my mind if it wasn't attached (but mental health is another post for another time... stay tuned)


So friends... What are you thankful for today?

Happy Friday!

T.G.I.F. 

My coworkers all get really excited about Fridays because it's almost the weekend. (Well, except the ones who work Saturdays... tell them Happy Friday at your own risk).

Weekends are about hobbies, naps, fun events and relaxation... or so I used to think in the B.K. era... Before Kids.

For working moms of littles, the weekend brings a whole other type of stress. The weekend is a time when you're not required to be at work, and "should" be choosing from a mountain of to do list items that get put off during the work week. (Don't get me started on shoulds).

Example: putting away clean laundry, sorting the kids closets when they outgrew a size, sweeping/mopping, sleeping while the kids are sleeping (HA! More on that later), playing with the kids, meal prepping healthy food, grocery shopping, taking the kids to the library/zoo/park/fill in the blank, visiting family, self care.

Did you notice how my brain naturally ordered that list? Chores first because the mom-guilt is strong, then kids because they grow so fast, self care last (also more on that later), and poor hubby didn't even make the list. I recognize that this is a problem. I'm working on it.

So since I'm posting this "Happy Friday" vent post on Saturday (let's be real doing anything on time with a full time job, toddler, and infant is near-impossible), I'll close by simply saying enjoy the weekend, however you choose to spend it.

☮💖🙊

Peace, love, and pickles
~ Mama Gali

Welcome to Midnight Mommy Moments

Hello!
Welcome to Midnight Mommy Moments!

My name is Gali, and I'm a mom of two little ones. My daughter, the sassy first-born, is almost 3, my son, the sweet little brother, is almost 5 months old, and our fur baby, who is just as much a part of the family, is about 7 years old, so middle aged if you change it to dog years.

This blog is for everyone, but mostly for the mommies and daddies in the thick of raising young children, and their friends/relatives.

It's often been said that "It takes a village to raise a child" and in the digital age, an online community can be equally important.

Motherhood, in my experience, is an emotional rollercoaster with no exit. Just like any real-life coaster, once you're on the ride there's really no way off until the end, and it can be terrifying, exhilarating, exhausting.

So this blog is intended as a resource. We've all had mommy moments, sometimes at midnight and sometimes not, sometimes overwhelming and sometimes not. So this blog is a place of encouragement and sharing. A place where we can rest for a moment, and know that you are not alone.