Saturday, April 25, 2020

Yes I'm Gross, and So Are You

We're ALL gross.

Whether it's the 5 second rule for dropped food, or allowing your dog to lick your spoon, we're all gross in different ways.

You know it's true, so WHY are we still so ashamed to admit the things that we do (or don't do) that are gross?

Some people compare their lives to a dumpster fire, and everyone thinks that it's a joke, but I say that it's time to turn off the Instagram filters of our lives and stop being so ashamed. 

Yes I'm gross, and you are too, and that's okay. Once we find the courage to speak the truth out loud, maybe we can all stop feeling so freaking bad about ourselves.

They say that comparison is the death of happiness, but it's really really hard to stop. The funny/sad part is that so many times we compare ourselves super negatively to these personas that people project. Well it's actually true that no one's perfect, and we'd come out a whole lot better if we only knew the secrets that our idols were hiding. 

Here's a silly poem with a list of some ways that people are gross. If you feel like guessing which of these apply to me, leave a comment and I'll tell you if you were right, scout's honor.

Some People Are Gross
Some people don't shower daily 
And some people don't vacuum or sweep
Some people don't typically brush their teeth before they go to sleep

Some people wear the same clothes twice 
And some people forget to dry them (times four)
Some people leave their underwear on the bathroom floor

Some people eat food that fell on the floor
And some people cut off the moldy part
some people buy breakfast and lunch from the warmers at the gas mart

Some people sneeze into their tshirts
And some people spit phlegm in the street
Some people pick their noses and wipe it under the seat

Some people text on the toilet 
And some people talk on the phone there
Some people burp, fart, blow their noses, on speakerphone without a care. 

Some people leave dishes dirty, 
and some people like pineapple on pizza
Some are more gross than others despite the best efforts of mothers.

So next time you think that someone's gross,
don't judge as harshly as before,
If you're honest, you're gross also,
You just do it behind closed doors. 

Three baskets waiting to be put away,
but hey, at least they're clean!
If my college sweetheart turned husband had known even half of my gross habits when we first started dating, would we have spent all those nights trading "no, you hang up first"? I'm leaning towards probably not. Without a doubt, there's a time and a place to let your gross flag fly, for example, definitely NOT during a job interview. 

Our closest friends and relatives won't cut us out of their lives if we don't clean all night before they visit, but on the other hand, if you need some motivation to stop being a slob, hosting a game night is a pretty good one!

So yes, I'm gross, and you are too, and that's okay. I'm going to go brush my teeth now, for the first time in… more than a day. 

Open toothpaste tube, random puppet, dirty sink,
Guess I've got some cleaning to do

Shout out to my kids for being daily reminders that we're all gross by nature, and if we work as a team, we can be a little more clean.

XoXo
Tired Mama

Saturday, April 11, 2020

The Heaviest Burden


The heaviest burdens 

are the ones that we place 

on ourselves.
~ Gali Rosas 









 

Comic Credit - Meg Adams
During the current coronavirus crisis, more than ever before, we moms have too many plates spinning, and like a circus act designed to make us laugh, sometimes the plates come crashing down on us. Spoiler alert: It's not as funny outside of the circus. We (or at least I) often think that multitasking is the best way to get it all done, but science shows that we're not as great at multitasking as we assume. (Find the research details and data by clicking here.)
I've been juggling parenting, working from home, maintaining a neat/clean house, self care, and wifeing. (If my hubby is reading this, please know that I'm working on re-ordering that list ASAP). You would think that someone who measures 4 feet 10 inches tall would set the bar a little bit lower, but even as I type, I realize what an impossible goal I've set for myself. 

Yes, we do have an IKEA Cirkustalt...
Yes, it's as awesome as it looks



Going back to the circus metaphor, multitasking is like turning your back on the roaring lion (but just for a minute) to walk the tightrope. Both of these acts require tremendous focus, and we would never expect a circus performer to do them all at once.
SO WHY DO WE EXPECT IT
 FROM MOMS?


No one is asking me to dehydrate myself because the dishes aren't done, or the laundry hasn't been folded in weeks. No one is asking me to rescue my 10 month old from death by dog food instead of letting him cry it out in a toy-filled pack n play for 5 more minutes. No one is asking me to stay inside all day, hating myself for avoiding chores, and getting more depressed with each passing minute. This is a bar that I've set for myself, and it's time to lower it.
It's time to recognize that giving 110% in 5 areas at once is not sustainable. It's time to set aside the guilt, the stress, the fear of failure, and set ourselves up for success. One more time for the people in the back: IT'S OKAY TO TAKE A BREAK. It's okay to do cosmic kids yoga (try it here), or eat the fruit snacks that you really bought for yourself, or take a freaking shower without your kids. The world won't collapse if the dishes sit in the sink for an extra 2 hours.

TAKING BREAKS MAKES US HAPPY,
AND HAPPY MOMS
DON'T CONTEMPLATE
CLEANING BY FLAMETHROWER
(if you haven't been there you're lying)

So I'm writing this as a reminder, to myself, and to anyone else bored enough to read this, that it's okay to take turns. It's okay to stop multi-tasking, turn on Frozen for what feels like the billionth time this year, and breathe (FYI circle breathing is amazing - click here to try it). Trust me, using the electronic babysitter in moderation will help everyone (your kids, your husband, and most of all your mental and physical health) to not just survive, but thrive. 

XoXo
Tired Mama