Yes I'm Gross, and So Are You

We're ALL gross.

Whether it's the 5 second rule for dropped food, or allowing your dog to lick your spoon, we're all gross in different ways.

You know it's true, so WHY are we still so ashamed to admit the things that we do (or don't do) that are gross?

Some people compare their lives to a dumpster fire, and everyone thinks that it's a joke, but I say that it's time to turn off the Instagram filters of our lives and stop being so ashamed. 

Yes I'm gross, and you are too, and that's okay. Once we find the courage to speak the truth out loud, maybe we can all stop feeling so freaking bad about ourselves.

They say that comparison is the death of happiness, but it's really really hard to stop. The funny/sad part is that so many times we compare ourselves super negatively to these personas that people project. Well it's actually true that no one's perfect, and we'd come out a whole lot better if we only knew the secrets that our idols were hiding. 

Here's a silly poem with a list of some ways that people are gross. If you feel like guessing which of these apply to me, leave a comment and I'll tell you if you were right, scout's honor.

Some People Are Gross

Some people don't shower daily 

And some people don't vacuum or sweep

Some people don't typically brush their teeth before they go to sleep

Some people wear the same clothes twice 

And some people forget to dry them (times four)

Some people leave their underwear on the bathroom floor

Some people eat food that fell on the floor

And some people cut off the moldy part

some people buy breakfast and lunch from the warmers at the gas mart

Some people sneeze into their tshirts

And some people spit phlegm in the street

Some people pick their noses and wipe it under the seat

Some people text on the toilet 

And some people talk on the phone there

Some people burp, fart, blow their noses, on speakerphone without a care. 

Some people leave dishes dirty, 

and some people like pineapple on pizza

Some are more gross than others despite the best efforts of mothers.

So next time you think that someone's gross,

don't judge as harshly as before,

If you're honest, you're gross also,

You just do it behind closed doors. 

Three baskets waiting to be put away,
but hey, at least they're clean!

If my college sweetheart turned husband had known even half of my gross habits when we first started dating, would we have spent all those nights trading "no, you hang up first"? I'm leaning towards probably not. Without a doubt, there's a time and a place to let your gross flag fly, for example, definitely NOT during a job interview. 

Our closest friends and relatives won't cut us out of their lives if we don't clean all night before they visit, but on the other hand, if you need some motivation to stop being a slob, hosting a game night is a pretty good one!

So yes, I'm gross, and you are too, and that's okay. I'm going to go brush my teeth now, for the first time in… more than a day. 

Open toothpaste tube, random puppet, dirty sink,
Guess I've got some cleaning to do

Shout out to my kids for being daily reminders that we're all gross by nature, and if we work as a team, we can be a little more clean.

XoXo

Tired Mama