Unmet Needs

Pretty much every challenge in our lives can be boiled down to unmet needs. 

Are you hangry?

Unmet need for food. 

Are you overly irritable?

You probably have an unmet need for sleep.  

Are you sad? 

Unmet need for companionship, or purpose, or exercise.

Are you anxious? 

Unmet need for safety and acceptance.

Are you hurting?

Unmet need for relief.

Are you overwhelmed?

 Unmet need for support.

            The list could go on and on, but you get the point. We all want to feel heard, to feel seen, to feel appreciated and validated and capable. Obviously I can't speak for every one of the 7.7+ billion people currently living on our planet, but I'm pretty sure this gem is universal. So if every challenge in our lives is basically caused by unmet needs... how do we fix them? How do we stop the suffering, fix the world, and find happiness/peace? Well first of all, we don't. It's not our responsibility or capability to meet every need for everyone, and it's not everyone else's responsibility to meet our needs.

If we go the philosophical route, Thomas Hobbes described human lives as

 "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short".

If we go the twelve-step route, it's up to G-d to grant us 

"...the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and Wisdom to know the difference".

If we go the comedic route... 

well we'll have to go somewhere else because I don't have jokes that are actually funny. lol.

            There are also lots of routes not listed. Actually, there are probably about as many routes to "fix" this problem of unmet needs as there are people, because each of us is our own weird blend of education and life experience, each of is damaged in our special ways. So this leads me to wonder... 

If we're all bruised and scarred,

 why do try so hard 

to pretend we're not? 

Read that again. I'll wait.

  Speaking of trying, I recently "read" an audiobook that talked a lot about trying, and not trying. If you're curious, it's called "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck", and it's by Mark Manson. I have a love-hate relationship with the title, because cussing isn't my default. You can probably tell because I chose "cuss" instead of "curse", or any of a zillion other less PG ways to say profanity. So why did I read it? Because I felt a nudge from God/The Universe, and followed it, and I am so glad that I did. The book is everything that I didn't know that I needed. Psychology and humor, life lessons not from a rabbi or scientist or celebrity, but from a normal guy, who made mistakes just like the rest of us, and found a way to write down chapter after chapter of ways to not. 

            To paraphrase an abundance of awesome, his answer to "how" is that honestly, we already know how to get our needs met, and underneath all the lies that we let ourselves believe, we don't take responsibility for our needs because it's hard. Blaming others and getting mad/scared/sad is practically automatic, and doing something about it feels uncomfortable, and sometimes impossible. So why write this post at all? Because we all have unmet needs, and we all have great power to do something about it, and if you need a little nudge to get out of your rut, here it is, because me too. 

            You don't need my permission to "just do" the scary things. But just in case it helps... you have it. Whatever challenges you're facing in this moment. You're not alone. You've got this. It WILL get better, or your money back (and I can say that with confidence because this post is free 😛)

xoxo,

Professor Gali

Why Isn’t ___ More of A Priority?!

Good Morning and Welcome!

            Today's inspiration came from the awesome and amazing Hannah Cremona, who posted this prompt: (find her group here)

My Response:

            "Honestly, I've been afraid of putting in the effort... my doctor recently told me that its clear that I'm trying... and also that I'm not giving it my best. It came from a place of love and encouragement, she genuinely want to know why nutrition wasn't a priority, when clearly, its very effective in managing my disease. It didn't take me long to reply... "I'm lazy". Changing my eating habits is HARD, or at least so I tell myself... and I believe with my whole heart that it would work... and also understand that my brain is LYING when it tells me that I can't. My heart wants to whine "its not faaaair" and as I reach for the processed convenience snack that I know my bowel will soon protest... I think to myself. You CAN resist. Life's not fair. Don't do it. After that... its a roll of the die whether I will succeed or fail, and give myself grace to try try again."

Yes, I did stage this to hide
the cluttered countertop and table 😁

 

            Oh my gosh the look on Dr. V's face when I mentioned resorting to Pop-Tarts! It was as if I'd said poison! And plain cheerios, that was my crazy health-nut-mom easy option... I had no idea that cereal was a no-no too! Her response... cheerios don't come off the tree like that. 😬 touche Dr. V.  (Find her info here)

            That's a truth that can't be denied. But it's not all about food. Those words of why isn't this more of a priority for you... they hit me in the feels. That applies to every. single. area. where we doubt ourselves. Don't believe me? Here's a non-food example.

Don't judge the crumbs, 
They're fresh 😇

            When my daughter struggles to clip her own carseat buckle, even though I've seen her do it before, I remember all the times that she's given up and begged for help, just 2 seconds before success. My momming strategy is to help her have the confidence and faith in herself to use that extra oomph (sound effects help y'all, seriously). So when she whines for help, I ask her to "Grab the whines. Take em out of your throat! Smash em into a ball, and throw em far away!" When I ask her where are we throwing them this time, her answers are so precious. Often its been a gleeful, ALABAMA! And a few times its been a confident, "into space!" Either way, we make a big show of sending away the whining so that we are ready to believe in ourselves. I talk her through problem solving the "I can't". Maybe move your hands? Maybe make sure its aligned in the right spot? Maybe keep going, try your very best and right when you want to give up, try just a tiny bit more..... and often, success! She is capable. She is strong. She can do so much, with a little bit of scaffolding (shout out to Vygotsky's theory of Child Development woot woot). Our kids don't need us to swoop in and take over... sometimes they just need a little support... and lightbulb moment... sometimes, so do we. 

            #Adulting isn't easy. And that's okay. We are capable. We are strong. We are NOT alone. And we've got this. For me, prayer is comforting, so if it's alright with y'all/you guys, I'm going to close with a prayer/praise. 

Abba Father, thank you for putting these words in my heart and head, and for giving me the platform and the time to share. Baruch ata adonai... blessed are you Lord, who has given us the gifts of technology and transportation, of family and faith, of strength and support. If it be thy will, we ask you to be our scaffold as we build up from your foundation. We ask you to comfort us when we look down in fear. We ask you to show us the way up, not the whole way, but enough to have the courage to take the next step. Inspired action comes from you, or strength comes from you, our souls come from you, and we are so so grateful for your abundant love, even as we turn from you in grief or frustration. Thank you for this new day, and this new opportunity to be our best. In your holy name, amen. 

            If you've made it this far, dear reader, your heart is open to receiving a blessing, and I claim it for you now. You've got this. You are capable. And if you want a little support, let me know. Truly, no judgment, I mean it when I say, I'd love to hear from you in the comments, or in a private message. Find me on Instagram.com/galigaligumdrop, in the pages of the books "Sadness and Us" and "Fear and Us", or on Facebook in "Gali's Great Group". 

You are not alone. You are loved. You are capable. I will say it over and over until you believe it for yourself, and I believe it deep down in the place of doubt.

Xoxo

Mama Gali

The Secret to Happiness

Have you ever wondered about the secret to happiness, searching and stressing when it eludes you? The secret is this: Live lightheartedly. No gimmicks, no suspense, read on before you scoff that it's not. The secret has more, but love's at the core, read on if you've been yearning to open that door. (Oops, can't seem to avoid rhyme-time!). Seriously though, it really is that easy.

Live love-ly, live laugh-ly, live lightly, that's how we find peace and joy. 

When we keep things simple, enjoy life's dimples, our souls vibrate like purring felines, 

Our hearts thump like wagging tails, our minds finally radiate calm, 

And Oh, what a wonderful feeling that is!

Abhor hate, enjoy the outdoors, step away from the endless wanting of stuff,

Uncover the core, and you'll see that it's love. 

Love thy neighbor AND thyself, 

And believe without labels in something greater...

Guaranteed, it'll improve your health. #LoveLouder #LoveAlways #LoveLots 

Inspired by the concept of "Cheerful Fatalism", which is accepting without feeling hopeless, that whatever will be, will be. (Full definition here).

Thanks for reading. I hope that you find peace and comfort, and give yourself permission to be sad, or mad, or scared, and of course happy. 

 xoxo

Mama Gali