Unmet Needs

Pretty much every challenge in our lives can be boiled down to unmet needs. 

Are you hangry?

Unmet need for food. 

Are you overly irritable?

You probably have an unmet need for sleep.  

Are you sad? 

Unmet need for companionship, or purpose, or exercise.

Are you anxious? 

Unmet need for safety and acceptance.

Are you hurting?

Unmet need for relief.

Are you overwhelmed?

 Unmet need for support.

            The list could go on and on, but you get the point. We all want to feel heard, to feel seen, to feel appreciated and validated and capable. Obviously I can't speak for every one of the 7.7+ billion people currently living on our planet, but I'm pretty sure this gem is universal. So if every challenge in our lives is basically caused by unmet needs... how do we fix them? How do we stop the suffering, fix the world, and find happiness/peace? Well first of all, we don't. It's not our responsibility or capability to meet every need for everyone, and it's not everyone else's responsibility to meet our needs.

If we go the philosophical route, Thomas Hobbes described human lives as

 "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short".

If we go the twelve-step route, it's up to G-d to grant us 

"...the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and Wisdom to know the difference".

If we go the comedic route... 

well we'll have to go somewhere else because I don't have jokes that are actually funny. lol.

            There are also lots of routes not listed. Actually, there are probably about as many routes to "fix" this problem of unmet needs as there are people, because each of us is our own weird blend of education and life experience, each of is damaged in our special ways. So this leads me to wonder... 

If we're all bruised and scarred,

 why do try so hard 

to pretend we're not? 

Read that again. I'll wait.

  Speaking of trying, I recently "read" an audiobook that talked a lot about trying, and not trying. If you're curious, it's called "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck", and it's by Mark Manson. I have a love-hate relationship with the title, because cussing isn't my default. You can probably tell because I chose "cuss" instead of "curse", or any of a zillion other less PG ways to say profanity. So why did I read it? Because I felt a nudge from God/The Universe, and followed it, and I am so glad that I did. The book is everything that I didn't know that I needed. Psychology and humor, life lessons not from a rabbi or scientist or celebrity, but from a normal guy, who made mistakes just like the rest of us, and found a way to write down chapter after chapter of ways to not. 

            To paraphrase an abundance of awesome, his answer to "how" is that honestly, we already know how to get our needs met, and underneath all the lies that we let ourselves believe, we don't take responsibility for our needs because it's hard. Blaming others and getting mad/scared/sad is practically automatic, and doing something about it feels uncomfortable, and sometimes impossible. So why write this post at all? Because we all have unmet needs, and we all have great power to do something about it, and if you need a little nudge to get out of your rut, here it is, because me too. 

            You don't need my permission to "just do" the scary things. But just in case it helps... you have it. Whatever challenges you're facing in this moment. You're not alone. You've got this. It WILL get better, or your money back (and I can say that with confidence because this post is free 😛)

xoxo,

Professor Gali

Opposites Attract for A Reason

 

Today I put down my to-do list. Sounds like no big deal, right? Not for me.

True story 

       Maybe its because I have low-esteem, maybe its just because #MomLife, but my thoughts are like a hamster on a wheel, running to the point of exhaustion without actually getting anywhere. 

      So after trying and failing to "power through", I made an appointment at urgent care, and that little piece of paper that says "may return to work on 12/6" is like a permission slip to rest. Side note, can you believe I insisted on walking rather than waiting?! W.T.F. I really am cray cray. 

      Some people don't need to be convinced to slow down. I am not one of those people. It's really hard for me to accept help, but then I also get overwhelmed and irritable because I'm doing everything "alone". Makes no sense? I know. My heart isn't as logical as my hub!

      Where were we again? Oh yeah,, opposites. It can be really tough when opposites smash full speed ahead into each other. It can also be really amazing when they coexist, each leaning on the other, for balance. 

      This adventure in mandatory mom-cation had a bit of a rocky start. The storm clouds were ominous and depressing before revealing their silver lining. So I turned, of course, to music, and that's the real reason for this post.

      Music has always been a source of comfort for me, so as I was wrapping my mind around protecting my family's health by first protecting my own... I listened to a favorite ballad, "Superman (It's Not Easy)" by Five for Fighting. Of course, my hamster wheel brain kept right on spinning, thinking about the opposite message of another favorite, "Defying Gravity" by the Wicked Original Broadway Cast. 

      One song is full of compassion for the tired male hero: "men weren't meant to fly, with clouds between their knees"... and the other is full of fierce motivation from the newly flying female lead: "No one's gonna bring me dooooown". Well, they say life is all about balance right? This is my takeaway from overanalyzing my love of these very different songs:

      It's okay to reach for the moon, and its okay to enjoy relax on the beach, and its okay to ask for what you need, because if you don't ask, how can you expect to receive?

      Want to hear the lyrics that I love? I got you boo.

(Click here to listen to "Superman") 

      Then, do an about face and try its opposite. Leave a comment if you dare, I'd love to chat about it... right after a nice long nap... and yes, I know that "normal" people call nighttime naps by the name "sleep", but I own my weirdness, and labels are optional to keep.

(Click here to listen to "Defying Gravity") 

Thanks for joining me on this journey. Xoxo

~ Mama Gali

Stop Running On the Stairs!

Have you ever found yourself rushing, running up (or down) a staircase? I have. The fear of being late, getting in trouble, being labeled unreliable... it's no picnic, and has been known to cause problems. At work, I've made mistakes by moving too fast. At home, I've caused physical and emotional stress to myself and others with the "hurry hurry hurry" mentality. And the universe taught me a lesson, as it's been known to do when we push too hard. Are you curious about why this post is called "Stop Running Up The Stairs"? I would be too. Here goes:

Today I saw a Facebook post with a cute and wise comic of a heart and brain on a staircase. And it got me thinking...

I'm definitely guilty of

a) running up the steps
and
b) taking two steps at a time

And that's not just a metaphor, it's also how I approach the staircase in our house (sometimes). This is not recommended and boy do I have a story to tell about that! Check out for my newest blog post, and I'll spill all the details. Where? At
midnightmommymoments.blogspot.com Falling down the stairs doesn't just happen in movies. Two years ago, I stumbled on the 3rd step from the bottom, while carrying Annabelle. She split her lip and I bruised my knee, and we both learned an important lesson in slowing down. There was no lasting damage, and we quickly applied "popsicle first aid" to AB, which helped her calm down pretty quick. Of course, hoomans have a very short attention span, and I've recently accidentally modeled the "hurry, hurry, hurry" lifestyle. Oops! Luckily, each day is a fresh start, and a new opportunity to live the values that matter. To slow down. To tackle challenges one step at a time. To be mindful in the moments big and small, and to not just skip ahead to the destination.

So, on this rollercoaster called life... "are we there yet" doesn't serve us well. When one journey ends, we rest, reload, and go 'round again.

Plus, "are we there yet" is annoying! Just ask any parent who's taken a little kid on a road trip! 🤣

Have a terrific day y'all.

P.S. Good Morning 😊

Want to see the staircase comic? I got you boo, find it here. And please please please, before you tackle the obligations and opportunities of the day, remember to stop and say, "good morning".