Do you struggle with setting and enforcing boundaries?
Limits on your time, your energy, your attitude?
You're not alone.
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| Did you also know that hummingbirds generally fly alone? |
It can be so hard to set limits, especially if you're a people pleaser like me, but it is so SO worth it, and here's a quick list of reasons as proof. Take a quick minute to read this list, then stop your mindless scrolling and take back your time.
1. True Friends will Understand
Whether you're in a busy season of life, or stressed out of your mind and needing to make change, true friends will understand. If you (respectfully) set limits on your time, and your friends don't understand, maybe that relationship is more about convenience then love, and that's okay.
We all have friendships of convenience, and not all friends were meant to stay in our lives forever. As much as social media can leave us feeling lonely and less than enough, it also has incredible power to connect us with a tribe of friends who really care.
Don't believe me? Here's a truth bomb. I don't have a lot of "true" friends, and it's my own fault. Instead of calling local friends and making time to meet up (with or without kids tagging alone), I spend hours and hours mindlessly scrolling, telling myself the lie that there's no time. And yes, when I'm feeling lonely I reach out. But guess what, I'm not just sending that "hi" message to one person. The #Realtalk truth is that I probably send 3-12 "hi" messages, and hope that someone will be available to fill the void. When I've actually called (instead of texted) friends, and need to hang up after 5 minutes to spare them the screaming of an angry toddler, they understand. Or at least that's what they tell me when I apologize over and over .... 😔
2. Confidence Boost When we try to set limits, and it works (oh my gosh imagine), there is such a confidence and mood boost that comes with #winning. For those who have a miles long to-do list, try the "If I Could Only Pick 3" exercise, and check off the most important/urgent items before anything else. This isn't just one of those weird textbook experiments, it actually works.
In my call center job and also at home, the task list never ends, and new tasks seem to get added faster than I can keep up. When I invest even 5 minutes in planning my day, and making a visual reminder of order-of-importance tasks, wow things actually get done. Through the magic of planning, I'm able to break down my scary-overwhelming day into manageable chunks, and every time I finish a task there's that dopamine rush of marking it done. Eventually, when the end of the day arrives, I can look objectively at the things I didn't do, because they're surrounded by all the things that I did, and that makes all the difference.
3. Healthy x 3 Setting limits is healthy for mind, body, and soul. Those aren't just pretty words, there is science to back it up.
- Athletes who push too hard get injured.
- Minds that don't get a break wreak havoc on our emotions
(like in that animated movie where Joy, Anger, Sadness, Disgust, and Fear take turns shouting in their own styles, "hey, hey, you better stop!)
- Even the soul needs limits, we can't give and give and give to everyone else without ever allowing ourselves to take.
Boundaries are so important, and yet, we're not taught to make them a priority. Or maybe we are, and just ignore those voices of reason in favor of the natural instincts to want more, do more, be more.
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So as I work to set (and actually enforce) boundaries in my life. I hope that my friends and family will understand, and that we'll all be happier and healthier as a result.
On that note, my kids have been calling my name for 20 minutes, off to do all the mom things that waited not-so-patiently for me to wrap up!
May your boundaries be respected, and may the seeds of your self-care grow and grow until you bloom into your best self.
xoxo
Mama Gali
