The Heaviest Burden

The heaviest burdens 

are the ones that we place 

on ourselves.

~ Gali Rosas 

 

Comic Credit - Meg Adams

During the current coronavirus crisis, more than ever before, we moms have too many plates spinning, and like a circus act designed to make us laugh, sometimes the plates come crashing down on us. Spoiler alert: It's not as funny outside of the circus. We (or at least I) often think that multitasking is the best way to get it all done, but science shows that we're not as great at multitasking as we assume. (Find the research details and data by clicking here.)

I've been juggling parenting, working from home, maintaining a neat/clean house, self care, and wifeing. (If my hubby is reading this, please know that I'm working on re-ordering that list ASAP). You would think that someone who measures 4 feet 10 inches tall would set the bar a little bit lower, but even as I type, I realize what an impossible goal I've set for myself. 

Yes, we do have an IKEA Cirkustalt...
Yes, it's as awesome as it looks

Going back to the circus metaphor, multitasking is like turning your back on the roaring lion (but just for a minute) to walk the tightrope. Both of these acts require tremendous focus, and we would never expect a circus performer to do them all at once.

SO WHY DO WE EXPECT IT

 FROM MOMS?

No one is asking me to dehydrate myself because the dishes aren't done, or the laundry hasn't been folded in weeks. No one is asking me to rescue my 10 month old from death by dog food instead of letting him cry it out in a toy-filled pack n play for 5 more minutes. No one is asking me to stay inside all day, hating myself for avoiding chores, and getting more depressed with each passing minute. This is a bar that I've set for myself, and it's time to lower it.

It's time to recognize that giving 110% in 5 areas at once is not sustainable. It's time to set aside the guilt, the stress, the fear of failure, and set ourselves up for success. One more time for the people in the back: IT'S OKAY TO TAKE A BREAK. It's okay to do cosmic kids yoga (try it here), or eat the fruit snacks that you really bought for yourself, or take a freaking shower without your kids. The world won't collapse if the dishes sit in the sink for an extra 2 hours.

TAKING BREAKS MAKES US HAPPY,

AND HAPPY MOMS

DON'T CONTEMPLATE

CLEANING BY FLAMETHROWER

(if you haven't been there you're lying)

So I'm writing this as a reminder, to myself, and to anyone else bored enough to read this, that it's okay to take turns. It's okay to stop multi-tasking, turn on Frozen for what feels like the billionth time this year, and breathe (FYI circle breathing is amazing - click here to try it). Trust me, using the electronic babysitter in moderation will help everyone (your kids, your husband, and most of all your mental and physical health) to not just survive, but thrive. 

XoXo
Tired Mama





 

Hope & Gratitude

Write/type/decorate a list of 

100 things that you are grateful to have in your life.

If you've ever seen the TV show "How I Met Your Mother" you'll probably recognize the phrase "Challenge... accepted".

So in the midst of the current crisis, here's my challenge for you - be grateful for all the good things. Notice them, jot them down for later, take a minute to really let it sink in.

The first few items on your Gratitude 100 List will likely be pretty easy to jot down, and the last few might be tougher, but I double dog dare you to keep at it, the end result will be worth the effort, and we all know you should never turn your back on a double dog dare!

So I'll get to work on my list, and leave you to get started on yours.

Sweet dreams and flying machines...

XoXo
MidnightMommy

Compassion & Coronavirus

Becky Thompson, who writes posts on Midnight Mom Devotional, summed up current feelings on her Facebook page in a way that makes so much sense.

Each of us is doing the past that we can, and instead of debating over who's coping methods are right, or better, or absolutely ridiculous, let's try some compassion.

Last night I felt hopeless, and terrified, and scared that no matter which decision I made, it would be the wrong one.

This morning I feel hopeful. We can never truly know the impact of our decisions, because we can only see their results, and not what would have or could have happened had we decided differently.

So flip a coin if you need to, keep washing your hands a lotta bit extra, and make peace with your choices, regardless of the peer pressure.

We're don't know what we don't know, so let's not panic alone.

Let's distance ourselves physically, and at the same time hug a little tighter metaphorically. Call your family, check in with friends, offer hope (and maybe toilet paper) to your neighbors.

Talk to your kids, feeding them bite sized facts washed down with lots of hope and love and comfort. 

Let's look for the silver lining in this unprecedented dark cloud, and make the most of the time that we're given.

*Digital Hugs*

MamaGali