Work-life balance is hard.
It doesn't matter if you're a mom who works outside the home, a stay at home mom, a work from home mom, or not a mom at all. No matter what your situation, it can be very very, did you hear me VERY tough, to find that necessary balance between the things that "should" get done, the job duties, housework, etc., and the things that "could" get done, the outings, family time, self-care etc.
Today I chose to stay home from work with my infant son who has a stomach virus. It was a tough decision, and it shouldn't have been. Even though he doesn't have a fever, and didn't get suspended from day care (he was just barely under the number of loosey poopsies that would have required him to stay home), I knew in my heart that he's contagious, and it would be unfair to him, to the other day care families, and to the hard working staff, for me to push the limits and wait for that inevitable call requiring me to go pick him up.
I CHOSE to spend 4 hours of my night at urgent care, and pay an unnecessary $35 copay (he was prescribed hydration) so that I could get a doctor's note to cover my absence. I felt GUILTY for missing work, for "abandoning" my team, for listening to my mommy instincts and doing what in my heart I knew was right.
(Chicken soup because taking a healthy toddler to urgent care is terrifying, and diaper cream and pedialyte for the baby)
I felt GUILTY for taking care of my 5 month old son. Why? Because the system is broken. Employees are pushed to their limits, and sometimes beyond. They are asked to reschedule doctor's appointments, and denied use of paid time off for non-medical reasons like a child's school function, to suit the needs of the business.
I know that I'm replaceable at work. And sometimes I get so stressed out by the balancing act that I feel replaceable at home too.
This is a PROBLEM.
We need to speak out, to share our stories, to advocate for ourselves, and each other, because the mom guilt is real, and don't get me started on the dad guilt/pressures of modern fatherhood.
We need to support each other. We need to change the system, one incident at a time, so that medical students don't delay starting their own families to take care of others. So that minimum wage workers don't go to work sick because they can't afford to rest.
Going outside without a coat doesn't make you sick, but going to work sick spreads germs that could've been contained.
You might say that it's no big deal, that it's "just a cold", but for a 6 week old infant who just started day care because his mom didn't have paid maternity leave or family nearby, that "just a cold" could be deadly. I'm not exaggerating. Ask google to tell you about RSV.
Work-life balance is hard, but it doesn't need to be.
It's up to each of us, it's up to YOU friend, to change the broken system, one comment, one call out of work, one conversation with your boss at a time.
Today I needed a break from my full-time job. As much as I hate that Noah has a stomach virus, I feel like a higher power was nudging me towards a decision that I never would have made otherwise.
Everything happens for a reason. This blog post happened for a reason. Help me change the system.
Rant over.
Peace, love, and chicken soup,
~ Mama Gali
Next day update: Noah is doing much better. I dropped him off late today following a previously scheduled check up, and he made it through the afternoon without incident. I feel so blessed that he's not extra fussy, and is sleeping well through this adventure.
Weekend update: Noah's doing excellent and I also a similar post in my social media feed. Here's a quote and link - "
People are worried about their jobs. PLEASE reassure your hard working employees that their jobs are secure, whenever possible. Loyalty goes both ways.”
https://www.workingmother.com/bernie-reifkind-mom-crying-loyalty
